It is just like riding a bike.
Sort of.
I’ve been off the bike for so long – that getting my fitness back is going to be an uphill battle. Slam together myriad problems – but where I am at right now is affording me a new appreciation for riding. I’ve hesitated posting here, but here’s something I shared with some friends on our own little internet forum about two months ago:
I’ve been scarce on the bike – probably since late summer. For the last few years I’ve been building fitness, changing my diet, adding to my ride calendar, and getting ‘serious’ about training. That was until sometime last spring or early summer when it all fell to pieces.
I have ridden my bike since… riding the fixed gear around town for errands, commuting on the bakfiets, and riding the IF with the trailer as a utility bike. True – life has gotten busy – house torn up, baby on the way, (edit – she’s here!) my wife’s health changing, work continuing to be a challenge … but I’ve been unmotivated.
Off the bike.
Not running.
Lethargic.
Tired.
Burned out.
Burned up.
Certainly managing my anemia and my asthma – but there is no joy in the woods, no desire to head out on the bike. Prior to my season falling apart I hired a local coach and designed some focused training – a big step for me. Not long after my cycling journal goes quiet. I tried a club ride in August with the local group… ended up riding about 25 miles and calling for rescue. I haven’t really ridden since late July. I haven’t ‘trained’ since late June. My last fun ride was pacing a friend through a metric in late July. My last great ride was a hill day climbing to Bolton on June 6.
I now know what it is to burn out.
It seems I’m coming out of a fog.
I went for my first run in 5 or 6 months Thursday morning.
It turned into a painful shuffle.
Friday I took my first serious ride in 6 months. I dusted off the IF (my long distance machine), brought out the trainer, set up the fan, and turned on the music.
I rode for 15 minutes.
I was out of breath and everything hurt.
Wow. This is going to be a long road back.
I’m 30 pounds over my ideal event weight. I’m tired. I now have a ‘beer gut’ (even though I don’t drink much beer). My abs are gone. The lines down my back are soft. My quads are still defined – but they’ve always been defined from lugging me around.
My legs felt funny on the bike. My shoes odd. My saddle so narrow. A handful of pull ups and sit ups were difficult. I can’t imagine climbing Middlebury Gap or through the Keene Valley, much less the hill to town.
For those that have ‘come back’ to cycling… or bounced back from an injury or surgery… I’m feeling what it is like.
Yesterday I took off on the fixed gear, honing some ice riding skills on the lakefront MUP, which I would characterize as ‘pocked powder’. Icy footprints, ski tracks, and a few tire tracks from other adventurous cyclists have frozen and refrozen – 18″ thick in some places. It was a bike handling challenge – but exactly what I needed to keep my mind off the pain in my lungs and the ache in my legs. Upon getting downtown I cruised the city streets, even doing a hill repeat or two up Depot Street, dodging the ice to maintain forward momentum. How far did I go? How fast? I can’t tell – but it was good to be outside again – blazing blue sky, crisp winter air, moving about under my own power.
Sure, it hurt – but it feels so good. So damn good.
And I have to say – it’s just like riding a bike. It will come again – the long distance, the ability to climb mountains, to ride brevets, to get chewed up and spit out the big boys and girls on the local group ride.
It will all come back, in due time. I just need to take in the scenery and remember. The legs do. The heart does. The mind will follow. Just keep turning those little circles – one mile at a time.
